We are a drivin‘ kinda family. Mostly, because Darling is um…uh…well, the man is a proud tightwad. The cost of flying a family of 5 anywhere makes his eyes do this freaky bugging out thing. But we love to travel (we have short memories, so we forget just how painful it is with small children). So, basically, we drive everywhere. We actually get a little antsy after a few months without a major road trip. We DROVE to Disney World, for heaven’s sake. You can catch up on that little adventure here. However, a few months ago, Darling had a conference in Boston and he, being the wonderful guy that he is, got his mom to watch the kids for a few days (I’m sure it felt like a lot more than that to her :) and I flew out to join him for the weekend! Woot! So fun.
I was totally looking forward to flying WITHOUT children. Darling kept complaining about how long of a flight it was and I could barely contain myself from leaping into a dance of joy (I think it was giving the children a complex that mom was so excited to be LEAVING!). Gosh, all that alone time on the plane? Just me, a book, and someone to bring me snacks? Seriously?? Woot! I was already planning how I was NOT going to make eye contact with my seatmates, thus avoiding any conversation on the 4 hour flight.
So in the next blog or so, I am going to detail some of the fun, fun things that are unique to flying. Bring on those great travel stories and share them with me in the comments!
Fun, fun flying, Part 1
Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed a decline in courtesy? I am not talking about fellow passengers (though I could…maybe later). I am speaking of the trained PROFESSIONALS who serve on planes. I am typing with subterfuge here as I am actually on the plane as I write this and I don’t want coffee accidentally dumped in my lap. This flight, curiously, the crew seems fairly courteous. Just shy of friendly. This is not the norm. Usually, flight attendants seem to be cranky, power-mongery people who’s chance to gossip in the galley with a co-worker is interrupted by your need of a snack, pillow or blankey (that you have to pay for). They shout “sir!” ma’am!” a lot. As in, “Ma’am, you need to return to your seat, the captain has the seat belt sign on” or “Sir, you are going to have to move that bag–it won’t fit there (much huffing and irritation as they move the offending bag of the obviously brain-damaged passenger).
What gives with that? Since when did the flight attendants gain all the power on a plane? (Yes, I recognize that they could have to save my life in the event of an emergency, but I would be okay with liking them BEFORE that.) I don’t even want to ask for a water from them. Even with their increased role in security, you’d think they would operate under the assumption that most of us are NOT bad guys.
I once had a flight attendant refuse to serve me coffee on a plane because I was holding a 3 month-old Lady Bug and she was worried I would spill it on her. Um. Thanks for the concern? But I manage to drink hot beverages daily and NOT spill them on anyone. Even if we suddenly hit turbulence, this isn’t McDonald’s and the coffee isn’t that hot. Really. She said it wasn’t an actual airline rule, just her rule, as she sweetly stood there waiting for me to put Lady B in her seat.
Speaking of power mongering and security, what is up with the TSA agents these days? Did they go through re-training or something? They are, like, pleasant and stuff. With a sense of humor. Trust me when I tell you that this came in very handy when I left my i.d. on the counter at home. Yep. Rule of travel #1: don’t move stuff from it’s normal place. I had taken it out of my wallet so that it would be handy, but somehow FORGOT to pick it up off the counter. So, there I was, freakishly searching through my bag at the ticket counter trying to find it. I had no other picture i.d. with me. I assumed my trip was going to end right there at the check-in counter. Amazingly, they let me fly. I didn’t know they would do that. Actually, as nice as it worked out for me, I’m not sure they SHOULD let people do that. But maybe you don’t worry too much about a legal i.d. if you have nefarious plans.
The TSA folks had me search through my wallet to find things with my name on it. The saving grace was my Sam’s Club card with my picture on it and my ability to recite my address off my checkbook (which I almost didn’t take with me). I did get specially screened (which wasn’t all that special, trust me). Flying to Boston, they had the puffer machine thingy–a semi-enclosed booth that blew startlingly loud air jets at me. Coming home, I got the old-fashioned pat-down. As I was putting all my identifying documents away, my wallet fell open and some cash fell out. The TSA guy says, “Oh, you don’t owe us anything for the service.” :) It was funny.
Interestingly, at the Denver airport, they have advertising on the bottom of the security trays. Funnily, it is for the shoe website, zappos, so while you are standing here in your naky feet, touching the germy floor, you can dream about shoes…
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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
I’ve only flown twice, once to London and once to France. I’m a bit of a twitchy passenger. The first flight was a school exchange trip when I was 16. The flight attendants seemed deeply detatched and unsympathetic sorts, the women a day-glo orange colour, with bright lipstick outlined in magenta. I remember how it clashed with their orange foundation, and it scared me. I’d grown up in a small Highland village and never seen such women. Their outfits suggested Thunderbirds, but they didn’t suggest skills in international rescue, in those spike heels.
I’ll never forget the pain in my ears as the plane rose. It felt like my eardrums were going to explode. I’d read about chewing gum, but hadn’t any, so demolished the pound and a half of Orkney fudge (a fabulous confection made with sugar and sweetened condensed milk) which was a present for the French family. It was with a little twitch of remorse that I saw all four kids attempt to disect the remaining tiny square into quarters.
I’m glad you enjoyed your flight, or that the title suggests you might have! I have been wanded, because I walked through the metal detector still holding my wallet on my flight to London. That was a bit unexpected and scary.
Wonder how I’ll cope with a long-haul flight? Maybe a chatty seat-mate would be okay.
Glad you had your identifying things with you!
Hey Rowan! I always take Sudafed for my ears before I travel. I acually burst an eardrum on a flight a few years ago. It hurt so badly that I actually thought I had been shot for a second (why that thought popped into my head is beyond me..).
Talk to Dr. Bob about chatty seatmates. And smelly ones. :P
Lack of courtesy is, unfortunately, a problem we all have. My DH likes to make a game of it – to see if we can make it through the drive through them actually saying anything. I am the opposite, I make them laugh or at least acknowledge me.
OOh! How does the Sudafed help? Does it widen eustachian tubes, or something?
Arrgh at the thought of smelly seatmates! I am hoping to sit next to a chatty John Goodman lookalike who likes traditionally built women and take-away curry.:)
Jan, thanks for popping by! :) So glad to have you here!
Hey Rowan! I think it just drains them (it’s an antihistamine, I think….not sure….would require going to find the box, and then I would get distracted and never make it back to this comment…). I just know if I don’t use it, my ears hurt. :(
Oooo, good luck on the seatmate! It’ll make a great story, either way!
Hey girl! With all the flying we’ve been doing, I hear you! Especially on the TSA folks, they were amazing. On our way back from Denver we flew through Phoenix, forgot the stroller so Jamie waited outside for his dad to bring it from the house and I proceeded with the girls…I was mortified at the thought of going through security with a 10 month old strapped to me and a toddler. TSA was great, gave stickers to the toddler, let me keep the baby strapped to me!! Phew, I dodged a major bullet. Good to connect with you through this!